He had beaten me again, even though he kept telling me that he was sorry and hated hurting me. He kept promising that if I'd just "act right" he would stop hurting me. I tried so hard, but I never "acted right" enough to suit him.

 

Beaten, bruised and battered, I sat in solitude as I cried and talked to God.

 

Me: "God, if You're really there..."

 

God: "If?"

 

Me: "I'm sorry God. Father, I know that You are there. God, so many nights I've prayed." I held the shattered picture tighter. "I don't even know why I keep praying. I mean...Lord...Do You even know me?"

 

God: "I know you Daughter, before you were in the womb, I knew you. I know the number of hairs that you have in your head. I also know your greatest gifts, smallest failings and deepest secrets."

 

Me: "But Father did You really know where I am, Lord? If You do...I wish You were here Lord. I feel so all alone. Lord, You just don't know what I'm going through."

 

God: "I'm here Daughter, I'm here. I've never left you. I see your every move and I'm with you. I know you can't feel My presence right now but I'm here. I've never backed out of My promise and I promised that I'd be with you always, even unto the end of the world."

 

Me: "God, if...God, I've been hurt for so long. Do you really understand my pain?"

 

God: "I understand your pain and if you will allow Me, I will comfort you. I will remove you from this place of pain and bring you to a place of peace and joy that you never imagined possible. All things are possible to him that believeth."

 

Me: "God, I want to believe You so badly...but I've been through so much. Father, sometimes...sometimes I cry all night long. Lord, where are You? Do You even hear my prayers?

 

God: "Daughter, I want you to always remember that weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. I hear you and I know your hurt but I say to thee, everything that you've been through has not been in vain. I, the Lord, am able to give you beauty for your ashes."

 

Me: "I've tried everything Lord. I don't know what else to do. I just keep knocking myself out trying to make things right but everything just keeps going all wrong. I gotta get out of this situation Lord. I gotta get out of here and go someplace, but I don't know who to call or where to go or..."

 

God: "Daughter, you've tried everything and everyone but Me. Try Me. Come unto Me and I will give you rest. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good."

 

I dabbled in and out of religion many times after that conversation, but it took years before I truly accepted the Lord's invitation to come to Him.

 

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